When I told a friend that I am interested in the field of elder care mediation, she responded, "I may need the help of a mediator in about fifteen years."
"Why?" I asked.
"I don't want the same thing to happen to my siblings that happened to my mom's siblings."
"What happened?"
"My mom has one brother and one sister. When their mom, my grandmother, died, she left the house to my mom's sister. My mom's brother was furious. The three of them tried to work through it, but they couldn't. For the last fifteen years, there have been no family parties, no family reunions, no family gatherings. I haven't seen my aunt or uncle or their families since my grandma's funeral."
She then told me that she is the oldest child in her family, and she has 7 siblings. She's determined that when her parents die, it won't be the end of the good relationships that they share. As executor, she'll call in a mediator, if necessary, to help them work through the difficult issues that frequently arise once parents are gone and assets need to be divided.
NPR recently broadcast a story called "Mediators Help Families With Tough Choices of Aging." If you want to learn how a mediator may be able to help your family grapple with tough inheritance, estate planning and elder care issues, you may want to read it.
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I think this is a good idea. When my husbands father died he had an old truck that the oldest son drove off with after the funeral. It turns out he had told one of the daughters that she could have it. How silly that this turned into a very angry ugly situation over an old truck. It took a year to patch up the relationships. I am not sure they would have considered a mediator but it would have been good.
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